Kankuro's Furby problem
by oblivionkeeper23
Summary: Kankuro calls about a very vulgar furby. Rating for violent and sexual references.


Woman: Thanks for calling (beeped out)this is…how may I help you?

Kankuro: Oh thank god you answered;let me speak to the toy department!

Woman: OK please wait

Kankuro: Yes I've got an emergency!

Deborah: This is Deborah, can I help you?

Kankuro: Oh thank god you've answered!Is this the toy department?

Deborah: Yes it is.

Kankuro: I have an emergency! I'm calling about a Furby!

Deborah: I'm sorry, I don't have any.

Kankuro: No! I'm not calling because I need the Furby;I'm calling because I have a defective Furby that's spitting all kinds of violent words at me  
Deborah: Yes ma'am

Kankuro: I'm a sir!

Deborah: Y-yes

Kankuro: My name is Kankuro;I bought little Furby for my 8 year old brother Gaara, he's killed 30 people last week,and I promised that I would get him a Furby if he dropped 20 he's down from 52 you know!

Deborah: Yes ma-yes sir.  
Kankuro: Listen to this Furby! I'm gonna put the phone next to the Furby right now!It's making all kinds of demonic noises and its making all kinds of cursing and gestures at me!(Listen here you little brat, I'LL KILL YOU! He-he-he!)Did you hear that?

Deborah: Yes, yes

Kankuro: It said it was gonna kill me! Did you hear…oh hold on it's talking again!(Oh-h, eat me!)Now it's using profanity! Did you hear that?!

Deborah: Yes, sir…

Kankuro: Where is this coming from? I think we're looking at a lawsuit here!

Deborah: Where are you calling from?

Kankuro: I'm from my house right now (I'm going to kill your mommy with an ax!) DID YOU JUST HEAR THAT!?

Deborah: Yes sir, can you hold on a minute please?

Kankuro: It said it was going to kill my mommy with an ax! My mom's already dead! What kind of crap are you people selling over there!?

Deborah: Where are you from sir?

Kankuro: Oh! It's talking again!(Shut the hell up jackass!)LISTEN TO THAT! How can- (I smoke crack! Oh-h-h!)It just said it smokes crack!

Deborah: Sir, can I let you talk to my manager?

Kankuro: Little Furby here is promoting drug use! Yes, put your manager on the phone immediately because I'm calling a lawyer next!

Deborah: OK, hold on

Kankuro: Yes!

Manager: Hello how may I help you please?

Kankuro: Yes is this the manager?

Manager: Yes it is; how can I help you?

Kankuro: Is this a decision making manager or a patsy for the higher-ups?

Manager: Sir, how can I help you, I'll try my best.

Kankuro: I have a defective Furby that I purchased from you guys, it's spitting out all kinds of vulgar and demonic phrases, and I'm about to call a lawyer to sue your ass off!

Manager: What did you say the Furby was doing, and where did you buy it?

Kankuro: I bought it from your store here... (making Exorcist noises)Now its making the Exorcist noises! Hang on. Hang on;let me...let me shake it a little bit to see if I can get it to-(You're a little whore. He-he-he!) Did you hear that!?

Manager: Sir, are you sure that's a Furby doll?

Kankuro: Yes I am it just called me a whore! Did you hear that!?

Manager: Uh-uh um...

Kankuro: Hold on, listen...(You smell like a camel's ass!) Now it's calling me a camels ass!

Manager: Uh-OK-uh...

Kankuro: What are you people' selling there!?

Manager: Well, as far as I know we sell uh-

Kankuro: I'm gonna to turn that into Ichiraku Ramen when I get through with you! This thing is starting to scare the hell out of me!(DIE! DIE! DIE!)It just told me to die, die, die!

Manager:Where did you say you...( I will spit acid into your eye and blind you! He-he!)Oh my god!

Kankuro: Now it's threatening to spit acid into my eyes and blind me!

Manager: I heard!

Kankuro: I think…should I call the police?

Manager: I…I don't know what to do!

Kankuro: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!? YOU'RE A MANAGER! I THINK IM GOING TO CALL THE BOMB DISPOSAL UNIT, AND HAVE THEM TAKE THIS DAMN THING AWAY!(Oh-h... I'm going to give you diarrhea!)Now it's threatening me with sexually transmitted diseases!

Manager: I've never heard a Furby doll say any of those things!

Kankuro: Oh right! What the hell is going…is this some kind of joke!?

Manager: No! I…

Kankuro: If this is your idea of a joke, I'm going to sue your ass off personally too!You're going to be living in a street pushing a shopping cart in about 3 weeks!

Manager: Sir I understand that...(I have a kunai! I'm going to stab you now! He-he-he-he-he-he-he!)

Kankuro: Now it's threatening to stab me with a kunai!

Manager: Sir, I hear these things, but I just...

Kankuro: IT'S GOT A KUNAI! IT'S GOT A KUNAI!(Slashing sounds, Kankuro screaming and Furby laughing)

Manager: Sir…sir? Oh my god! I…oh! (dial tone)

*** Ok, as some of you may have noticed, this is based on Weird Al's Furby Prankcall. This is for a bet with my sister, Shikamarus love, to see who can make it the funniest. read hers (when she makes it), and then vote which one is better, via reveiw. then, in about a week we'll see who wins. Here's a link to her profile: u/2582393/Shikamaru-sLove if its not blue then just copy/paste it to your url address bar. See ya ;P ***


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